The first time that my husband and I saw our premature baby boy was over 12 hours after I gave birth to him. You can read about my experience with premature labor and delivery here. Since the hospital that I delivered him in did not have an NICU he was transported about 15-20 minutes away to a different hospital via ambulance. My doctor gave me the opportunity to leave not long after I had him so that we could go see our son, but my mom talked me into staying the night to have the nurses and doctors monitor me for a little while to make sure that I didn’t have any blood clots or anything else that could happen after birth. The first time that my husband and I saw our premature baby boy was over 12 hours after I gave… Click To Tweet
The next morning around 9:00 am the doctor came in and said that everything looked normal and I was discharged. My husband and I went home, showered and sat together for a little while to kind of digest what had just happened the day before. Once we were ready, we went to see our son for the first time since he was delivered. As you read in My Experience With Preterm Labor and Delivery, we were only able to see our little angel for about 1 minute before they took him out of the room in an isolate to take him to his hospital.
We were both nervous, scared, excited, happy, and anxious to meet our little boy. Neither of us had any experience with a premature baby, or an NICU so we didn’t really know what to expect. We walked into the hospital, took the elevator to the 3rd floor and called on the phone outside of the glass double doors with our specific patient number. They opened the doors and we were told that we needed to scrub our hands at the sink to the right. It felt very similar to a doctor scrubbing in for surgery, there will little white disposable sub brushes and very strong soap. Once we had scrubbed we walked to another set of glass double doors. The doors opened and it was like a sea of isolates. There were 3 “pods” that all had isolates full of premature babies in them. I was so overwhelmed. The doors opened and it was like a sea of isolates Click To Tweet
There was no one there to help us at the time, they probably didn’t realize that we were new parents, I’m not sure. Anyway, we just walked to the first pod and all of the isolates had little blankets covering the top (I didn’t know why at the time), so all we could see were little itty bitty feet. I looked to the right and saw my sons feet, I said to my husband “that’s him, those are his feet!” now remember, we had only seen him for about 1 minute the day before. We looked up and on the wall above his isolate we saw a cute little sign with a name on it. It was a name similar to his first name and our last name. It truly was our son, I was right, those were the tiny little toes that wrapped about my finger for 30 seconds the day before.
The nurse came over and introduced himself. He ended up being one of our sons main nurses the entire 4 months that he was in the NICU. We mentioned that his first name was incorrect and a new sign was made for him. We then stared at the tiny little 2 lb 3 oz angel. He was perfect, he had an endotracheal tube in his mouth because his lungs were not fully developed and he needed help breathing. There were little wires going into his belly button, which was where they “fed” him from. We learned that he didn’t get actual food at that time, his stomach was still too tiny.
He was our son, our sweet angel, and he was perfect. He looked like nothing but skin and bones… because that’s all that he was. His skin was still very thin, so we had to limit the amount of time that we touched him, and we were not able to hold him yet. We were able to touch his little feet again, and put our finger into his hand. Our time touching him was limited because we didn’t want to transfer any germs that we did have on us because his little immune system was not developed.
We sat there watching our son through a plastic isolate for hours. We never wanted to leave and when the time came to go it was the hardest moment ever. We didn’t want to leave him there alone, even though he wasn’t alone, he had nurses, but not his parents. We finally said goodnight to our little angel and touched his little head and feet as tears creeped out of both of our eyes (even though we were both trying to be strong). We sat there watching our son through a plastic isolate for hours Click To Tweet
We were not able to hold our son after he was born, or even the next day. We were not able to have him lay next to us in our room after he was born. We were not able to take him home with us when we left the hospital. We were, however, able to feel the love that a parent feels after their child is born. We were able to touch our son and feel our love flow through our fingers onto him. We were able to show him our love with our voices. I would sit with him for 12-14 hours a day for the next 4 months and my husband would come after work for 6-7 hours per day. He knew the love that we had for him, and we showed him in every possible way.He knew the love that we had for him, and we showed him in every possible way. Click To Tweet